You take a "pain pill" -- funny wording that... like you're taking a pill to "cause pain." smirk
Then pretty soon your body gets used to the dose and it only takes the edge off the pain. Severe, chronic, debilitating pain cannot be understood unless it is experienced.
So you increase the dose just a little and then some more because you can't sleep, you can't rest; you're totally worn out. The bottle says every 6 hours. You wait for the six hours to be over. You watch the clock.
It's not long until you're taking the "pill for pain" every 4 hours, maybe every 3 hours. It depends on how well you can tolerate the agony.
You call the Doctor. He increases the dose. "Nothing more can be done." says the Nurse with a jaded concern in her voice. You hear the unspoken thought. She wonders if you're an addict. She hasn't had long-term unrelenting pain. That's obvious and she's seen way too many addicts. It's understandable.
No... you are not an addict. Not yet and by God's grace you never will be but how do you survive this pain? No one has an answer.
You smile in public. You can't writhe upon your bed there. You can't moan and hold yourself. You smile and sit as still as possible in your chair. You smile and answer politely and do things as normally as possible. You walk as quickly as your body will allow and try not to hate the thing you live in that is full of abject misery.
And... you... Smile.
